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new seanbaby mma article

asugar2010-06-01 22:20:38 +0000 #1

Hilarious as shit, read the fuck out of it.


The time finally came to fight Royce. We huddled around the VCR as if Harold Howard was a sleeping camper and Royce was about to put his hand in warm water. This clueless bastard is going to piss himself! Then, just as the fight started, Royce’s corner threw in the towel. He was too injured from his previous fight to go on and that meant that Harold Howard, a man living in the center of a sex offender Halloween costume, was going to the UFC finals. To call this a victory is like calling a lobster attack a handjob– inaccurate and demeaning to everything involved.

In the tournament finals, Harold missed with a somersault kick that was so awesome it unfortunately depleted his entire doughy body’s supply of karate. He lost and soon faded into obscurity. Then one day he wandered into a newspaper office covered in blood and told them he was injected with a substance that was slowly hardening inside him. While that might explain the way he fights or why he would sit still for that haircut, it’s still batshit crazy and they kicked him out. He left muttering, “On to Plan B.” Plan B turned out to be doing too many pills, attacking his sister and nephew with a hammer, and then driving his truck into a casino. Which leads me to my point: Harold Howard has forgotten more about not giving a fuck than you and I will ever know.

HISTORY2010-06-01 22:27:49 +0000 #2
What!? Gilles Arsene is top five P4P in my eyes.



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