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How to help a daughter find herself

Anna Lyons2010-07-04 18:31:45 +0000 #1
My daughter is 25 + and cannot get her life together. She cant hold down a job or keep a relationship. She doesnt what to take responsibility for her own life. When she quits her job, I have to support her. She was diagnoised wth bipolar disorder in 2004. She takes medication for this. However, not much has changed with her in the past 2yrs. I would dearly love to help her, but she hasnt the motivation to follow through on anything I suggest. Any ideas to console a grieving mother. ( Grieving for her lost daughter. )
InnerAthlete2010-07-04 18:34:00 +0000 #2
This is quite a situation. I'm not sure "we" have the power to help others in the way you might want to help your daughter. It sounds as though you are already doing the things you can to help.

While difficult, we are not to deprive a person of their experiences in this life, this body. The fact that your daughter has a bipolar disorder probably keeps you in the role of suporting her when she loses her job and that's not a very clean relationship for you to maintain. It must feel as though you are empowering her "untogetherness".

We are also taught through yoga to be compassionate and that too needs to have safe boundaries.

So what I am going to suggest is to not look at how you can "help

your daughter but rather what balance there is for you in this and what ways you might champion your well being. Yoga is not merely the asana but a way of living. We should look less at our teacher's poses and more at their lives. You are to be your daughter's teacher and she should look at how you live so it models boundaries, health, and balance.
oak3332010-07-04 18:43:24 +0000 #3
Quote:

Originally Posted by Anna Lyons



My daughter is 25 + and cannot get her life together. She cant hold down a job or keep a relationship. She doesnt what to take responsibility for her own life. When she quits her job, I have to support her. She was diagnoised wth bipolar disorder in 2004. She takes medication for this. However, not much has changed with her in the past 2yrs. I would dearly love to help her, but she hasnt the motivation to follow through on anything I suggest. Any ideas to console a grieving mother. ( Grieving for her lost daughter. )

Read the booklet : Scientific Healing Affirmations by Paramahansa Yogananda

Also read the book: The power of your subconscious mind by Dr. Joseph Murphy. It shows you how to do it, based on the Bible.

Amazon has both of them.

These are simple, practical books.

It is surprising to see how the Western psyhology follows the yoga methods.

Late Dr. Joseph Murphy was one of the best psychologists.
Techne2010-07-04 18:45:25 +0000 #4
Another book that might be worth something is "Change your brain, Change your Life" by Dr Amen, a neurologist.

There might be more to your daughter's mental situation that hasn't been diagnosed yet and that keeps her disconnected from her motivation.
Alix2010-07-04 18:44:07 +0000 #5
Dear Anna, its heartbreaking to see your kids struggle no matter how old they are. I'm sorry you are hurting.

I think to be truly helpful to her you need to look to yourself first. Some self care and grounding for yourself perhaps? Your daughter is going to have to work on her struggles herself. Bipolar is hard. Hopefully she will stay on her meds and they will be helpful to her. You can't get her grounded or make her be responsible. You CAN tell her that she is on her own and mean it. No more rescuing her or she will always expect it and never take responsibility for herself.

I'm sorry, that sounds rather harsh. It wasn't meant to. I hope you find the path you need Anna. Take care.

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